This is an excerpt from a poem originally published on Kristen’s personal blog in 2018. Paola is the young girl who inspired several of VER’s education initiatives. She entered first grade at the age of 12 years old after being sponsored by the organization.
Little Paola,
Where do you see yourself in the future?
What do you dream of?
Something heavier than what your vocabulary can convey
Something on the tip of your tongue, you can’t quite say
Even more than what you’ve been given permission to dream
Beyond the horizons of the coffee fields and lush, green mountains
A beautiful, natural beauty
That on some days look more like your prison walls
What burdens do you carry?
Do you dream of carrying books
Instead of water jugs and firewood?
Carrying the weight on your shoulders, assuming guilt
For the adults in your life and their decisions past
Growing up much too fast
Never questioning the injustice
Never once uttering a “Not fair!”
Coming home from backbreaking labor in the fields
Sore feet, broken ambitions
Passing neighborhood friends
On their way home from class
They with their backpacks, you with your plastic bucket
Accepting your fate
Never daring to challenge the way things are
Your vision stretches as far as your reality allows
An inferiority you’ve breathed day in and day out
With your tired lungs
Since the day you arrived on the earth
An inferiority as thick as smoke that never dissipates
Less than
Less than
Him, her, whoever else is out there in this big world
Less than the grown-ups
Less than the boys
Less than the white skin
Less than the educated and the rich
You never considered the damage
That breathing in this smoke of inferiority would do
Why can’t you see yourself like I see you?
The smoke and mirrors game of those in power
Clouds your vision, chokes your breath
And you assume that everyone plays by the same rules
The flooding of things
The house in the dark during rainy season
The terror and anxiety that a storm brings
Dirt floors turning to mud through cracks in the roof and cracks in the walls
A life with cracks no one bothers to patch anymore
The flooding of emotions that you eventually learn to stop
You learn quickly to control the little things
The very few things you can, in an out-of-control world
Hard, defensive
Survival technique
A conditioning, an adapting to a harsh environment
Can you imagine a God who sees your inherent worth?
Who has plans of hope and not of harm
Who knew you (and wanted you!) even before your birth
Who carries your burdens in His arms
The way you carry the babies and the bundles of wood
Lay your burdens down finally, for good
Let it down
Let down your defenses
Get your hopes up for once
You have such a bright future
Open your eyes
Can you see it?
Kristen is the founder and Executive Director of VER International, a poverty alleviation 501c3 ministry. Her hobbies include reading, writing, photography, and learning new languages. She lives as a full-time missionary in Honduras with her husband, Natán, and little boy, Kairo.
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